Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens

You know screens and social media can be risky for your kid. But do you know exactly what harm looks like… and what actually protects them from it?

Dr. Lisa Damour revisits her conversation with Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, pioneering pediatrician, author, and California's first Surgeon General, recorded live at the Common Sense Summit on Kids and Families. A globally recognized expert on Adverse Childhood Experiences and toxic stress, Dr. Burke Harris has spent her career studying what harms children and what heals them. Her answer to the screen time crisis might surprise you: the most powerful protection isn't stricter screen time rules; it's your relationship with your child.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why a strong, connected relationship with a caregiver is the single most powerful buffer against the harms of toxic online content and manipulative algorithms

- How to invite your kid to share disturbing things they've seen online (and the specific language that keeps that door open)

- Why teaching kids to see the manipulation behind the content, not just the content itself, builds real, lasting resistance to toxic content

- How to tie phone and social media access to developmental readiness, not just age — including how a digital citizenship contract works in practice

- The two questions that help teens reflect on whether they're choosing their content or their content is choosing them

________________



 GET DR. DAMOUR'S FREE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER

Guidance, strategies, and tips delivered straight to your inbox → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/sign-up-for-my-newsletter/⁠

 DR. DAMOUR'S BESTSELLING BOOKS

- Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood – ⁠https://bit.ly/UntangledBook⁠

- Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls – ⁠https://bit.ly/UnderPressuretheBook⁠

- The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents – ⁠https://a.co/d/cbOmTKp⁠

 UNTANGLING 10TO20 MEMBERSHIP

Premium courses & resources for teens and the adults who care for them → ⁠https://lnkd.in/gr52MB-F⁠

 VISIT DR. LISA'S WEBSITE → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/⁠



________________



Today's sponsors:

Shopify: Sign up for your free trial today at ⁠https://www.shopify.com/asklisa⁠

Goodr: Get $10 off your first order at https://www.goodr.com/ASKLISA

Understood: Check out Everyone Gets a Juice Box wherever you listen to podcasts.

________________



Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.



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Your kid comes home devastated after being left out, dropped, or caught in the middle of a friendship blowup. You may want to help, but don’t know what to say—or whether you should step in at all. Take heart: this episode will help you navigate the situation with confidence.

In this encore “Best of Ask Lisa” compilation, Dr. Lisa Damour has curated her most essential guidance on friendship conflict, bullying, and social drama — the stuff that can make the tween and teen years so painful for kids and so hard to watch as a parent. Whether your child is being targeted by peers, doing the excluding, or trying to navigate a friendship that's run its course, you'll walk away knowing exactly what to say and how to help them through it with calm, clarity, and compassion.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- The crucial difference between bullying and conflict, and why getting this distinction right will change how you respond

- Why middle schoolers are so prone to cruelty, and how anxiety about belonging makes meanness a fast track to social power

- How excluding, icing out, and rumor-spreading work as a form of relational aggression — and why kids sometimes gang up to push someone out

- Why social behaviors that used to peak in 7th and 8th grade are now showing up in 9th and 10th grade, and what the pandemic has to do with it

- What to actually say to your kid when they've been left out or dropped, including how to offer a sense of perspective without dismissing how awful it feels

Social challenges are some of the most painful experiences of adolescence. But there’s a lot you can do to help.

________________GET DR. DAMOUR'S FREE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER

Guidance, strategies, and tips delivered straight to your inbox → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/sign-up-for-my-newsletter/⁠

 DR. DAMOUR'S BESTSELLING BOOKS

- Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood – ⁠https://bit.ly/UntangledBook⁠

- Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls – ⁠https://bit.ly/UnderPressuretheBook⁠

- The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents – ⁠https://a.co/d/cbOmTKp⁠

 UNTANGLING 10TO20 MEMBERSHIP

Premium courses & resources for teens and the adults who care for them → ⁠https://lnkd.in/gr52MB-F⁠

 VISIT DR. LISA'S WEBSITE → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/⁠



________________



Today's sponsors:

Jones Road Beauty:  Use the code ASKLISA for a free full sized Mascara with your first purchase at ⁠https://www.jonesroadbeauty.com⁠.

LMNT: Receive a free 8-count Sample Pack of LMNT's most popular drink mix flavors with any purchase at https://drinklmnt.com/asklisa.

Rocket Money: Join at https://www/RocketMoney.com/ASKLISA

Simple Practice: Sign up for a free 7-day trial, and get 50% off your first three months at https://www.simplepractice.com.

________________



Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.



________________



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Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If mealtimes in your home feel like a power struggle, or you're exhausted from worrying whether your kid is eating well, this episode will come as a relief.

Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan revisit their conversation with Dr. Reshma Shah, a Stanford-affiliated pediatrician, public health expert, and co-author of the award-winning book “Nourish: The Definitive Plant-Based Nutrition Guide for Families.”

With over 20 years of experience in academic and clinical pediatrics and a deep commitment to family-centered approaches to food and wellbeing, Dr. Shah offers a low-pressure, evidence-based roadmap for helping kids develop a healthy relationship with food.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why what you model at the table matters far more than what you say, and how your own relationship with food shapes your child's more than you realize

- Why "clean your plate" rules and other tension-raising practices can backfire (and what a low-stress mealtime actually looks like in practice)

- How the language you use around food shapes your child's relationship with eating, and why ditching "good" and "bad" food labels makes a real difference

- How to expand your kid's palate and involve them in food choices and preparation in ways that actually work

- Why family meals (even brief, imperfect ones) have lasting benefits for your child's nutrition, wellbeing, and your relationship with them

It’s not about eating perfectly—it’s about creating a healthy food environment.

________________

GET DR. DAMOUR'S FREE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER

Guidance, strategies, and tips delivered straight to your inbox → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/sign-up-for-my-newsletter/⁠

 DR. DAMOUR'S BESTSELLING BOOKS

- Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood – ⁠https://bit.ly/UntangledBook⁠

- Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls – ⁠https://bit.ly/UnderPressuretheBook⁠

- The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents – ⁠https://a.co/d/cbOmTKp⁠

 UNTANGLING 10TO20 MEMBERSHIP

Premium courses & resources for teens and the adults who care for them → ⁠https://lnkd.in/gr52MB-F⁠

 VISIT DR. LISA'S WEBSITE → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/⁠



________________



Today's sponsors:

Goodr: Get $10 off your first order at https://www.goodr.com/ASKLISA

Unwaffle: Use the promo code ASK LISA to get 15% off your first order at https://www.eatunwaffle.com.

Warby Parker: Buy one prescription pair of glasses and get 20% off any additional prescription pairs at ⁠https://www.WarbyParker.com/ASKLISA ⁠⁠

Momentous: Get up to 35% off your first order with promo code ASKLISA at ⁠https://www.livemomentous.com⁠

________________



Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.



________________



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Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If your son is shutting down, pulling away, or turning to the internet to answer questions you wish he'd brought your way, this episode is for you.

Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan revisit their conversation with Joanna Schroeder and Christopher Pepper, co-authors of the book “Talk to Your Boys,” to cut through the noise about boys, masculinity, and what's actually happening inside the minds of tween and teen sons.. 

Joanna brings her background in gender studies and years as Executive Editor of The Good Men Project. Christopher has spent his career as an award-winning health educator teaching thousands of students about emotions, relationships, and healthy masculinity. Together, they share what years of research and real conversations with boys have taught them — and their findings might surprise you.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why boys suppress their emotions to fit in, and how that loneliness and disconnection quietly builds over time

- The specific strategies that actually get boys to open up — from the questions that really work to the power of doing things side by side

- Why boys are uniquely vulnerable to toxic online influences, and how to build the media literacy skills they need

- What boys are really looking for from the adults in their lives, and why connection, purpose, and feeling needed matter more than you might think

- Why validation works even when boys seem resistant or dismissive

Boys may not always act like they’re listening, but they’re taking in more than we think.

________________ GET DR. DAMOUR'S FREE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER

Guidance, strategies, and tips delivered straight to your inbox → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/sign-up-for-my-newsletter/⁠

 DR. DAMOUR'S BESTSELLING BOOKS

- Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood – ⁠https://bit.ly/UntangledBook⁠

- Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls – ⁠https://bit.ly/UnderPressuretheBook⁠

- The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents – ⁠https://a.co/d/cbOmTKp⁠

 UNTANGLING 10TO20 MEMBERSHIP

Premium courses & resources for teens and the adults who care for them → ⁠https://lnkd.in/gr52MB-F⁠

 VISIT DR. LISA'S WEBSITE → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/⁠

________________



Today's sponsors:

Shopify: Sign up for your free trial today at ⁠https://www.shopify.com/asklisa⁠

Caraway: 10% off your next order with promo code ASKLISA at ⁠https://www.carawayhome.com/asklisa⁠

OneSkin: Use the code ASKLISA for 15% off your next purchase at ⁠https://www.oneskin.co/ASKLISA⁠.

Cash App: New Cash App customers can earn $10 if they use code: FAMILY10 at signup.

________________



Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.



________________



Episode keywords: talking to teen boys, how to talk to tween boys, boys and emotions, teen boy shuts down, getting teen boys to open up, parenting teenage son, toxic masculinity and boys, boys and social media, boys and porn talk, teaching boys consent, raising good men, lonely teenage boys, helping boys with feelings, boys and mental health, tween boy attitude, middle school boy behavior, teen boy friendship problems, ideological predators online, boys and TikTok, boys and YouTube, joanna schroeder, christopher pepper



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Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is your family stressed, anxious, and fixated on getting your teen into a "dream school"? What if that's the wrong goal entirely?

Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan revisit their conversation with Jeff Selingo, bestselling author and higher education expert, to reframe the process of searching for the “right” college. After more than 25 years of studying what actually helps students thrive in college, Jeff has a finding that may surprise you: it’s not where your teen goes to college that matters most—it’s how they engage once they’re there.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why attending the most prestigious colleges doesn’t guarantee better outcomes

- Why belonging matters more than brand name — and what to actually look for when evaluating campus culture, mentorship, and fit

- How to have honest, early conversations about college costs, and why financial fit deserves just as much attention as academic fit

- Why the college search should be about your individual teen, not community expectations or rankings (and how to tune out the noise)

- What students can do at any college to maximize their success — and why how they show up matters more than where they enroll________________ GET DR. DAMOUR'S FREE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER

Guidance, strategies, and tips delivered straight to your inbox → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/sign-up-for-my-newsletter/⁠

 DR. DAMOUR'S BESTSELLING BOOKS

- Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood – ⁠https://bit.ly/UntangledBook⁠

- Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls – ⁠https://bit.ly/UnderPressuretheBook⁠

- The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents – ⁠https://a.co/d/cbOmTKp⁠

 UNTANGLING 10TO20 MEMBERSHIP

Premium courses & resources for teens and the adults who care for them → ⁠https://lnkd.in/gr52MB-F⁠

 VISIT DR. LISA'S WEBSITE → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/⁠

________________



Today's sponsors:

Momentous: Get up to 35% off your first order with promo code ASKLISA at ⁠https://www.livemomentous.com⁠

Cozy Earth: Get 20% off your order with promo code ASKLISA ⁠https://cozyearth.com/

Understood: Check out Everyone Gets a Juice Box wherever you listen to podcasts.

Hero: Use promo code ASKLISA for 10% off your order at https://www.hero.co

________________



Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.



________________



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Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices